The Flamer Story
by Jedusor
Summary: This is a story specifically written for flamers to vent. If you are not a flamer, don't waste your time on it, because it isn't a good story.


This is a short, stupid, pointless thing I wrote to give flamers a place to vent that isn't a good story. If you are looking for a) a good fan fic to read, or b) a fan fic that could be improved by reviewing and adjusting, please stop here. This is neither, so please don't waste your time reviewing if you don't plan to flame. Again: this is meant to be flameable, not good. I have other stories to read if you want a good story. Flamers: have fun! I'm looking forward to reading your reviews!  
  
Warning: this is slash, sort of, but since I specifically want flames, march on Christian armies (or whatever).  
  
"Oh, no!" Hermione said, staring down at her vast pile of books. "I forgot to get 'The Truth About Veritaserum.' And my essay is due tomorrow morning!"  
  
"I can get it for you," offered Harry. "It's not in the Restricted Section, right?"  
  
"No, but you really shouldn't be out after hours. What if Filch catches you again?"  
  
Harry winced at the memory of the last time Filch had caught him. "Don't worry, I won't let him. And you do need that book, right?"  
  
Hermione sighed. "I should never have agreed to do that extra-credit assignment. Now Snape's expecting it and I have to do it. Okay, Harry, but be careful. And thanks."  
  
Harry went up to his bedroom and got out his Invisibility Cloak and Marauders' Map. Secretly, he loved going out after hours. It gave him a thrill. The risk, the darkness, the possibilities..  
  
He stepped out of the portrait hole and closed it gently behind him, then studied the map. All clear to the library. He had gotten the book and was just about to return to the common room when he saw a dot in the kitchens.  
  
"Malfoy?" he muttered under his breath. What was he doing out of bed? Probably just stealing food, but you never knew. Harry decided to check it out. He stole quietly through the gloom, the cloak whispering gently. Down five flights of stairs, over a few corridors, down some more stairs and there was the bowl of fruit. Harry reached out his hand to tickle the pear and-  
  
Thud. The picture swung out and caught Harry in the chest. Malfoy stepped out, looking around suspiciously for the source of the sound. Harry fell. His foot appeared for a moment. Just a moment, but it was enough.  
  
Malfoy leaped on him and tugged the Cloak off. "Potter?" he said in utter amazement, forgetting to smirk. "What the bloody hell are you doing here?"  
  
"Give me my cloak back, Malfoy!"  
  
Malfoy smiled coldly and swung the material around his shoulders. Harry gasped and lunged, catching hold of the hem of the cloak.  
  
"Let go, Potter, or I shall be forced to hex you." Malfoy's voice came from above. Harry rolled over, still clutching the invisible cloth, and took aim.  
  
"STUPEFY!" two voices chorused. Harry used his lightning-quick Seeker reflexes to avoid Malfoy's spell, but he felt a weight drop on his arm.  
  
Harry tugged his arm out from under Malfoy and pulled the Invisibility Cloak away. Malfoy lay there, eyes closed, cheek bleeding. He must have hit the corner of the book, thought Harry. He noticed the contrast between the red of the blood and the white of Malfoy's cheek. So light, so pale. And such long eyelashes. Harry slowly reached out to touch Lamfoy's cheek. It wouldn't matter, he was Stunned, he couldn't possibly-  
  
Then Malfoy sat up, grabbed Harry's shoulders, and kissed him on the lips.  
  
"Malfoy, what are you doing?" Harry said, shoving him away.  
  
"Kissing you. I would have thought that even your puny brain must be able to process that thought. Obviously, I was mistaken."  
  
"I know you're kissing me. But I thought you were Stunned."  
  
"You thought wrong. I simply wished to prove a theory. Case in point." Malfoy kissed Harry again. Harry wanted to push him away, but found that he couldn't. He moved closer, deepening the kiss. Malfoy jerked back. "There. Try to figure it out, Potter."  
  
"You're trying to prove that I kiss guys?"  
  
"Guess again."  
  
"You want to humiliate me in front of the entire school?"  
  
"Guess again."  
  
"Well, you can't actually like me."  
  
"True."  
  
"STUPEFY!"  
  
Malfoy dropped like a stone. Didn't miss that time, thought Harry smugly. He got up and kicked Malfoy. "Stupid, ugly git."  
  
Harry walked away, wiping blood off the corner of "The Truth About Veritaserum." 


End file.
